“Don’t Tell Me to Let Go” — What we actually need when we’re hurting

“Don’t Tell Me to Let Go” — What We Actually Need When We’re Hurting
A Tea & Tonic Series on Grief, Retreat & Healing

We’ve all heard it before—just let it go.
Often well-meaning, sometimes careless, but almost always unhelpful.

Because the truth is: letting go isn’t something we do.

It’s something that happens to us—in its own time, in its own way, when we’re held gently enough to feel safe enough & have had the chance  to feel everything we need to, or have been guided in such a way that naturally a letting go occurs.

At Tea & Tonic, we believe healing isn’t about rushing or forcing or tidying up grief into something palatable. It’s about yielding—yielding to the softness of a moment, the depth of our own pain, and the quiet wisdom of the body’s innate healing force. Our bodies know how to repair. They are always trying to. But healing isn’t linear. It asks for time, space, and safety. When this is given healing and “letting go” is as natural as your skin repairing after a knock or  cut.

Part of this healing may require retreat, not as an escape, but an invitation—to reflect, to grieve, to rest.
To finally, gently feel what’s been waiting to be felt.

So instead of “just let go,” what if we heard this instead?

“I know what happened to you was very hard. It was deeply unfair and it still hurts.
There are a lot of feelings in there, and it’s okay that they don’t make sense.
You don’t have to move on. You don’t have to be okay.
Let’s create a space where you can simply be—so you can feel what you need to feel, to explore your beliefs and the energy you’re holding there. “

In time letting go might meet you there.

We all need these spaces.
A home, a forest, a community, a lover’s arms.
Somewhere we don’t have to wear the brave face.
Somewhere that allows us to unravel, and in doing so, begin to reorient. To rebuild.

In these soft places, comfort matters. So do beauty and warmth. The outdoors. A beautiful bed. Nourishing meals. Kindness. A hand to hold. Clothes that feel like hugs.

We hope that this year, you find your own sacred space of retreat—and that Tea & Tonic can be a part of that sanctuary.